based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
