We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
