there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Sober January is a disaster.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize