Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
