i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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