***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
