if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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