He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
