I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
