I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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