Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
