i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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