whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
