you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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