I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize