went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
if i died would you start the facebook group?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
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