Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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