her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
