the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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