Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
