ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize