So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
