I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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