Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I need moral support for this bender
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
