just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
she smelled like a LAN party
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
