i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
