Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
