actually, I'm a sock model
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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