This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize