i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
