please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
