you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Someone stole a lamp last night.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
