i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
