its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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