Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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