what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
