I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
NoShamevember. You game?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I know her cup size but not her name....
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
