Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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