Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
