Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
