The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
