Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
