his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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