You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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