Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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