honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
