weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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