do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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