Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
