those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
