her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Randomize
