i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
