Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
