Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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