dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
