Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
