In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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