so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
