5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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