imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
