How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
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