I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize
